The End

The end of this school year is coming to a close leaving cause for celebration. Yesterday all of the students in M6 and M3 came to school early to make merit to the monks as they get ready to move onto the next journey in their lives. After making merit and a normal role call ceremony the flowers came out. Everyone was pulling out roses and giving them to their friends - it was like Valentine's Day except that it was on steroids and it wasn't the 14th of February. By the end of the day I had a bouquet of flowers, 5 long stemmed roses, three lollipops, a neck chain of fake money and a handful of candy.

All the students except for M6 and M3 left to go study and the rest of us stayed on the blacktop and prayed, chanted and waied some more. Afterwards we all made merit by placing one of our roses at the base of "Phra Piya" [the statue of Piyamaharachalai], wai-ing and then forming a line in our class. I am in M6/6 and when it was our turn we walked towards the big hall we would be having our party in and were greeted by all the students of M5/1. We walked through an archway to an overhang with coloured ribbons hanging from it and the M5/1 students crowded around us chanting our school song and handing us more flowers and candy. My friends started to cry.

We all took our places on the floor in the entrance hall and after many speeches from our teachers, director and a monk from the nearby Wat we started the Bai See ceremony. Everyone crowded on the floor, we layed our hands on the back of the person in front of us and the monk lit incense and candles; he said a prayer, chanted and then we ran around the hall taking pictures and having people bless us with the ceremonious pieces of string. When I saw my friends and blessed them I started to cry - I am not leaving yet, but they are leaving me. This week as well as next will be the last time I will see many of them, as they are all going off to University in April and I may not see them over the school break.

We took a lunch break and took hundreds of pictures outside where M5/1 had created a bunch of backgrounds for us to photograph around. There was a giant congratulations sign, a pink and yellow board made of balloons with superhero speech bubbles that had phrases written on them and two giant tshirts with our school emblem on them. After lunch, more picture taking, rose handouts and crying we returned to the hall where our classmates put on a concert for us with all of the most popular Thai songs. It was amazing. There were 4 boys who took turns singing and we were all jumping around and screaming at the front of the stage while some of them tried to jump off into the crowd; they almost made it.

Coming back to school in May will be different - my friends will have left me, I will make a whole new group of friends, and it will be that much closer to my return home. I look back now and wish I had spent more time at school and with my Thai friends than I did. I love them with everything and all of me; they are the kindest people in the world.

"You'll always be my best friend" - Relient K

[I will update this blog post tonight with a little more writing and pictures]

A Weekend of Sorts

This past weekend was full of many small adventures.

My friend Mason, originally from South Carolina and currently living in Khon Kaen came up to visit me and spent the weekend at my house. We spent the weekend watching movies, eating at my favourite Khanom shops and going to the internet cafe. It was relaxing, and very normal everyday life for myself; he however was quite sick of the quiet of Nakhon Phanom and I'm sure he was happy to go back to the hustle and bustle of Khon Kaen. I don't mind, I love Nakhon Phanom.

On Saturday morning Mason decided to sleep in and Suzanne and I went to a 5 year anniversary of the death of P Kaew's mother. Like all Buddhist ceremonies there was lots of food, lots of people and monks. For this particular ceremony there were 5 monks and each was given breakfast and a present after the ceremony. I wondered how one person could possibly eat that much food to themselves, but they are only allowed to eat before 12 pm so they must be pretty hungry. We spent a while praying and chanting [I have started to recognize some of the chants in the repeating pattern and try my hardest to speak along with everyone else], then the monks took branches dipped in water and sprayed us with them. The whole time while they waied they had a piece of string lined across their hands. I really love ceremonies like this, I feel so fresh afterwards.

Sunday morning Mason and I went with my host family to Phra That Phanom where there was a big fair going on. Usually when you make merit at a temple you have three incense sticks, a candle and a bunch of flowers that you put in different places and you wish on each before you do so. There were so many people at the temple that they had bonfires set up that you placed your entire bundle of items in. Smoke, chatter and laughter filled the air while we made merit and I started to feel quite claustrophic. We didn't even take our shoes off before entering the temple becuase there was no way we could have found them on the way out. After making merit we wandered through the countless stalls while merchants called out to us. I bought a Rubix cube and that was it. We also stopped to play with a bunch of baby bunnies; I asked my mom if I could buy one but she said "Sai Yo will eat it." I wouldn't want our golden retriever to eat my bunny, so I reluctantly left them behind.

Sunday night my host family set up a dinner party in our driveway with straw mats set up on the concrete and Korean BBQs set up. My parents', aunt's and sister's friends were there as well as Mason and Suzanne. We sat on the mats eating until we were so full it hurt and laughing throughout our conversation. It was wonderful - I love Thai dining.

Last night was Buddha's birthday, a day off school and a day for everyone in all of Thailand to go to the temple. Three laps of the temple, three sticks of incense, a bunch of orchids and two little yellow candles - we were anew. It felt wonderful to be a part of such a celebration. Tonight there will be monks coming to visit my aunt and she is going to take me as well to learn about Buddhism and how to meditate. We will also go to give them food in the morning. Buddhism has reached out to me; Thai ceremony has touched me in many ways. I love going to the temple, making merit, giving food to the monks and taking part in special ceremonies. It feels comfortable, it feels fresh, I feel accepted into their celebration.

"It is not how we are the same, but how we are different"

Alive Again

It's enevitable this would happen; I knew it would happen before I even came to Thailand. I would lose friends, and I would make friends; it's an experience of life itself.

After being here for 6 months I have realised I love my family more than anything - they are always there for me and support me in everything I do, even if they aren't happy about it. I didn't used to get along perfectly well with all of them, but I can now say that the distance has strengthened our relationship and I can't imagine a family different than them. They are perfect.

I have noticed who my true friends are - the friends who have always cared about me, the ones who never truly did, and the people I have never really noticed that are now more important to me than anything. I have lost friends I thought would be there forever; in return I have gained friends that I know will stick around.

To be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy in Canada. Not that there is anything wrong with Canada but I didn't feel honestly happy about my life or anything in it. That has changed immensely. I am now a truly happy person, in every aspect of my life. Even if something upsets me, frusterates me or makes me angry, deep down I am ecstaticly content and I can't stop smiling; nothing gets me down anymore.

It's a wonderful feeling, change. It's fresh and new; it's a feeling I have never truly experienced before.

When I mentioned this to Tony the other day he said, "It sounds more like you are in love." I guess I am in love, with life.

"I feel so Bohemian like you"

The Turning Point

In every story there is a beginning, there is a middle and there is an end. The beginning of the story lays the facts out on the table: who is in the story, where they live, what the problem is and it starts some of the adventures. The middle is where you decide whether you love the story or you hate it; the characters go through heaven, hell and back again. The end is where everything wraps up and everyone goes home happy.

My story had a beginning; one of the best beginnings in history. It has a middle; I've decided I'm in love. It will have an ending, and the beginning of the end for me was yesterday - my 6th month anniversy and the day that I stopped counting the days here, and started counting the days until I return to my homeland. I will not be going home happy.

It makes me sad to think that over half my exchange has already finished, that the time has slipped through my fingers and now the clock is ticking faster and faster as each day goes by. Soon it will be summer - the summer tour with Rotary, my mom and sisters coming to visit, Songkran, meditating at the temple. Soon after that it will be the rainy season - more family visits, more meditating at the temple and soon... it will be the end of July and I will be packing my bags to come home. It has all gone by too fast.

Time is a complicated and fickle friend. Or rather, in turn, WE are the complicated and fickle ones. We count down for exciting moments - willing the time to fly by.. and yet it never does. Then, when we realise how much time we have wasted on trying to speed time up, we realise it is going too fast and we beg for it to slow down. It never does; it races past, pushing the hardest at the end, flying through the finish line and onwards with full speed ahead.

I'm excited to come home to see my friends. I love them more than anything. I'm excited to be home, in my comfy bed with my pets and to be with my family; I'm excited to drive, to go back to work, to learn something new and exciting at school... to dance and go to band practice again.

But I'll be leaving behind so much more - my family, my friends, my language, my country. I will be leaving behind food I love, people I can't imagine not seeing, a culture I have fallen head over heels in love with and a language I am terrified of forgetting. It's almost what I left at the beginning of my story, but this time I don't have a countdown for when I will come back. There is no ending to my return to Canada. Just a beginning. And the beginning of my end in Thailand started yesterday.

"I love you as midnight loves the moon"

The Beach

It was a while ago but I forgot to write about it.

On Friday January 16th, Suzanne and I set off on a 15 hour long bus ride to Rayong. We left at 7 in the morning and only stopped once for dinner until we reached Rayong at 10 pm. It was a lot of sitting... it was a lot of sadness... it was a long long trip in which I finished 3/4 of a book, at least 20 Sudoku puzzles and tried to sleep while the man in the front seat snored like a chainsaw. By the time we got to Rayong we were fed up and tired.. we just wanted to sleep. We needed to meet our friends in Chanthaburi [another bus away] but there was no bus that late so we had to find a hotel to stay at. The first one we saw was our haven.

The next morning we decided to wake up intime for breakfast, but no earlier. At 10 we set off to the bus station to catch a bus to Chanthaburi and a three hour ride on a love bus later we arrived to meet Colin, Chris, Adrian, James, Michael and Clayton. Before heading to the beach we went for lunch and coffee and then the 8 of us piled into a song taew and set off for the beach. On the way we chatted and [in my case] sang musicals. The beach was beautiful, the water wasn't too warm, not too cold - the temperature of a nice swimming pool. We spent the better part of the early evening swimming in the gulf, throwing frisbees and playing catch with a football. We played in the sand and went on a walk along the shoreline. It was wonderful. When we decided it would be a good time to check into a resort we picked one and settled in. A big room with three double mattresses lined up beside each other on a platform. It was Clayton's birthday so we went out to the tiki huts on the sand for dinner and all of us ordered our favourite Thai food. After dinner Suzanne and I made faces in the sand while the boys played soccer with some Thai kids and then Clayton's parents showed up with icecream cake, candy bars and chips. The cake ended up all over Clayton's face and he in turn decided to shove a handful up my nose as his "Birthday buddy". More cake went flying and everyone was covered in icing. After dessert we walked along the beach more, found some blue micro-organisms in the sand that were way too interesting to be sane and then we found haven at the Rasta Bar [a small shop on the beach with a big swing we took turns playing on and bamboo floors]. At midnight everyone wished me a happy birthday and Clayton passed off the "Birthday Wisdom" to me as the first person to give me a hug. I got a hug from everyone - it was a nice feeling.. I have missed hugs. Also, Chris gave me a Thai Raggae CD for my birthday which I really like. When we had had enough of the beach we went back to our room and watched TV while everyone got ready for bed.

Sunday morning we woke up and went for breakfast, then got ready for a big day at the beach. We spent the day making sand castles, lying on the beach, renting inner tubes to play with in the water and going jet skiing. It was my very first time jet skiing and I LOVED IT!! Chris and I shared a jet ski and Suzanne shared with Adrian - at one point the other jet ski was stopped so Chris told me to drive by them and splash them. I got close and slowed down, and then when I sped up again I didn't turn fast enough and bumped into the back of them! They went flying off and had to climb back on, while I decided to let Chris drive. We went all along the shore to an island where we saw a little hut in the side of a cliff face - I wondered what it would be like to live there. In the early afternoon Clayton's parents came to pick us up and brought us back into town. Adrian and Chris had to catch a bus back to Rayong/Pattaya and then the rest of us went to Pizza Hut for dinner. I had been craving pizza for a long time, so it was a great birthday present. We went to the market and bought some movies and then went to Michael's house to watch some movies and spend the night.

Monday we woke up early, went to get coffee and then caught a bus to Korat. The ride wasn't too long; I finished my book and talked to Ashley and the family on the phone. We arrived in Korat at 4 pm and there wasn't a bus to Nakhon Phanom unitl 10 pm so we called some of our exchange student friends Kat and Kaitlyn in Korat and met them at The Mall. I had McDonalds for lunch [first time since I've left home.. I was craving Chicken McNuggets] and then we went to the arcade. We played Guitar Hero [normal version AND whack-a-mole version], Mario Kart Racer, Bumper Boats [like bumper cars but on water.. soooo fun] and then played some Karaoke. We had Swensens for dessert and then went to an internet cafe before heading back to the bus station. We took an overnight bus to Nakhon Phanom and arrived at 5 am, waking up my family when they had to come and unlock the gate.

It was a long, tiring and AMAZING birthday weekend. [I'm a little sad I missed the Bingo party back in Canada though].

"ได้ยินไหม ได้ยินไหม โปรดฟังว่าฉันรักเธอ"

Dog Town

So, Friday was the first [and hopefully only time] that I tried dog. Thai people DO NOT EAT DOG [a point my host families and friends made clear after I told them of my adventure] but up on the border of Laos where I live we have lots of different Thai people; Vietnamese Thai, Chinese Thai, Japanese Thai. It just so happens that in Vietnam they DO eat dog, so while Tony, P Kaew and I were on the road to Sakhon Nakhon we passed by a small little village with a woman on the side of the road selling barbecued and stewed dog. I decided I should try.

We pulled over to the little shop [for those of you who have yet to understand that a "shop" is pretty much a tiki hut roof on stilts with some tables underneath.. that's what this was] on the side of the road to a small old woman grinning when she saw a falang step out of the car. P Kaew told her that I would like to try - she laughed. Tony said I should try the barbecued kind instead of the stewed kind becuase the stewed kind might make me sick. I tried the stewed kind just to prove I had balls. It tasted like rubbery and not appealing chicken. Then I tried the barbecued piece; just like beef jerky. I actually liked it, so the woman cut another piece and gave me some sticky rice to eat it with. We sat around talking for a bit while I munched on my dog jerky and rice. She even gave me a doggy bag [of dog, oh the irony] to take with me in the car. This was the first thing I had had to eat that morning since we were on the road. When we got back to my house at 4 pm I threw up and was in bed for most of the rest of the weekend. As Alicia would say "Karma".

I do feel a little guilty for trying it, but dogs are not generally pets here, so it didn't phase me as much as it would have in Canada. My twin sister Ashley said "HOW COULD YOU?!" and when I think about it, it does make me feel a little sad. But it's no different than a cow and a pig when you see cows running all over the place and you go to a farm on slaughter day [yes I've had some interesting adventures]. So, I guess it's safe to say that when I return to Canada ... I will be willing to eat everything.. maybe even mustard.

The list of things I've eaten here:
Pork
Beef
Chicken
Fish [don't worry the list gets worse than this]
Squid
Cuttlefish
Octopus
Crab
Liver
Kidney
Tongue
Cow stomach
Fish stomach
Fish skin
Pig skin
Pig ear
Grubs
Grasshopper
Dog
Chicken blood
Cow blood
Fish fins/tail/part of head
Frog [ADDED]

I'm sure there is more - I will add to this as the list increases.

And I would like to mention that these things are not on a THAI menu - a lot of this food is Isaan food [the Northeastern part of Thailand where I live] which consists of a lot of Laos food.

"You've got so much love in you" - The Rocket Summer

Mrs. Dictionary

Last week three foreigners from Holland were travelling in Laos. After one of the girls seriously injured herself while tubing, they were brought to Nakhon Phanom to the hospital.

It was 9pm at night and my first host mother called me. She wanted me to go to the hospital and translate for the doctors what the girls wanted, and in return explain all the procedures and tests the doctors were going to do. I felt really bad for the girl, but it was a really exciting experience. When I got to the hospital the doctors pulled me into an office and explained to me all of the questions I needed to ask them about medical insurance, the type of room they would like etc. I also had to explain to them that the next day she would have a CT scan and they were going to be frequently taking blood samples and Ultrasounds. I gave them my number so they could call me if they had any problems and the next day the friends of the patient called me asking to give a message to the hospital.

It's exciting how well my Thai is getting. I feel proud that now instead of replying to "Can you speak Thai?" with "I can speak a little Thai", I can now say "I can speak Thai". I feel proud that instead of being told I speak well, I am told my accent is just like a Thai. I feel proud that I can be a translator for other falangs, that I can wander the city by myself and have no problem talking to people and that I can now understand everything that is said in yoga classes.

"All I can do is keep breathing"