สวัสดีค่ะ

My new address is:
2/1 Soy Prachasuksan
Muang Nakhon Phanom City
Nakhon Phanom Province
48000 THAILAND
If you would like to look at videos from my trip I am uploading them at www.youtube.com/user/emma1elizabeth

"The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for. "

"See things as they are and write about them. Don’t waste your creative energy trying to make things up. Even if you are writing fiction, write the things you see and know."

Sometimes my weeks are full of adventure,
And sometimes my weeks are relaxing and slow.
So please be patient with updates,
You want to read them as much as I want to write them.
Peace and Love.

PS. As this is an imperfect world and as this adventure I am on is full of unexpected surprises, I would like to apologise in advance for any comments that may seem offensive or full of frusteration. This whole experience is new and exciting for me, but there are things that I find different and frusterating. I'm not writing about them to complain, but to write the truth of my exchange, the people I meet and all of the places I go to. Because if everything were perfect, it wouldn't be an adventure... it would be a vacation.


Saturday, June 27, 2009

H1N1

There's nothing like being locked in an empty white room for four days to make you resent some things about Thailand. For one, being a falang is either the best or the worst thing that ever happened to you. You are treated differently, cautiously and with more stares than a Thai person would get. Another, the fact that everything in Thailand takes 458459406804968 times as long to get done as it would in Canada. Also, because Nakhon Phanom is one of the less wealthy provinces in Thailand, the health care system is less than meteocre. Finally, sometimes [and by sometimes I mean quite frequently] common sense seems to slip the minds of most Thai people. I seem to forget these aspects of Thai culture as life goes on in a normal matter; every once in a while, something happens that is a kick in the ass and a slap in the face, all at the same time.

Two Wednesdays ago [June 17th] I went down to Bangkok with Suzanne to drop her off at the airport and send her home. She left to board early morning on Thursday and for the rest of the day, other than wallowing in self pity, I went shopping in Bangkok with my friend Mason and was on a bus back to Nakhon Phanom by nightfall.
This past Wednesday [June 24th] I started to get a head cold - runny nose, sneezing etc. By Thursday morning my host mother was waking me up to take me to the hospital. She was worried that since I had been to Bangkok recently, that I had come in contact with the "swine flu" that has recently made an invasion in Thailand's capital city. We were asked to come back later in the evening when there were less people at the hospital, and in the meantime I had to wear a mask while at home.

First of all, wearing a mask is not a fun thing to do, and secondly, it's even worse in a country with a climate like Thailand's. It gets hard to breath, the air inside the mask condenses and you're left sweating underneath the blue cloth, trying to breath normally. Not fun, at all.

Thursday evening we returned to the hospital and I was poked and prodded with a distance and look of distaste only a martian or harmful bacteria would get. I only ever came within distance of nurses dressed in suits - complete with: [count them] 1-2-3-4 masks, goggles, a clear face shield, black wellingtons, 2 layers of gloves, hair caps and two layers of green suits over top of their normal scrubs. They stuck things up my nose, in my ears and jammed needles into my arms without the comforting, delicate touch of a Canadian nurse. A man pushed me around roughly and prodded me in front of an X-ray while tears silently rolled down my cheeks. The whole situation was rediculous - I didn't have a temperature, sore throat, sore limbs, headache or a cough. I had been out of Bangkok for more than 6 days before I showed signs of a cold and I felt fine. When the tests and a lot of waiting was finished, I was taken in a wheelchair to the white room. I insisted on walking but they worried I was too tired to walk. I wanted to give my mom the wheelchair and I would push her to my room. She needed to sit down more than I did.

The room was empty, with white tiled walls that were rusty and grimey - the look only a rarely used room would have. There were no comforts of home, only a bed, two trash cans and a metal night side table. The bathroom reminded me of a horror movie - I clearly was not in one of the best rooms. I was left there, with the notion that in an hour the doctor would come see me and then I could go home. My mother was not allowed to stay in the room with me.

An hour passed, a nurse came and went and still I was not allowed to go home. Finally, after frequent and frantic phone calls from all three of my host families, I understood I had to stay there, for 48 hours while they waited for my blood result to come back. I had nothing to do, was not allowed visitors and was left in the room with only a simple fan and a view of the parking lot to keep me company. The 48 hours came and went and I wondered why I wasn't allowed to go home yet - they told me they had to send the bloodwork to another province and it hadn't come back yet. So I sat and waited, finished the book I was reading and tried to entertain myself by sleeping or phoning the few exchange students left in Thailand. I talked to my family in Canada a lot, which helped, but when they were sleeping and it was the middle of the day, I sat in boredom - crying a lot and attempting to sleep as much as I could.

Finally, Saturday night I got ahold of my host sister and asked her to bring me some things from home - another book, postcards to write, my journal and my ipod. They kept me sane the last day.

This morning I was let out, being told I just had a normal cold and it would go away soon. I could have told them that 4 days earlier before they put me in isolation. It was not a good weekend, I wished to go back to Canada if it meant I could leave - the nurses made me afraid and paranoid every time my throat was sore or I started to cough. I never did spike a temperature, but I started to believe I was doomed with a flu that has killed many. I missed Suzanne, I knew if she hadn't gone home yet she would sit outside my window and keep me company, bring me my favourite food and things to do, and talk to me on the phone for hours on end. I miss my friend.

Other than all the bad things, there was some good - my host families brought me snacks everyday, I got phone calls from my host moms every few hours to see if I needed anything, and Tony offered to bring me books if I ran out.

The trucks that drive through the streets blaring news broadcasts have a new piece of information to share "Be Careful... It's Here!"

"There is no remedy for love, but to love more" - Henry Thoreau

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Green Means Go

Driving in Thailand is a mission not for the weak at heart. Not only does traffic flow on the left side of the road, but there are literally no (or at least FEW) traffic rules. There is no such thing as cutting a person off - motorcycles swerve in front of big trucks and pull out of alleyways onto main streets so quickly that I personally would not have failed in colliding with them. However, Thais must either be amazing drivers, or have extremely quick reflexes. I personally believe it is the latter.

If you drive in Bangkok with a taxi driver (or tuk tuk if you are a more courageous soul) you will weave in and out of the surrounding vehicles at 130 kmph all the while, holding onto their cellphone in one hand and not managing to dishevel a single hair. Thai drivers are crazy (as my visitors and many other fellow falangs will agree).

Turn signals are not used for turning. They are used if they are pulling over a foot to the side, to indicate someone can pass, to signal a stop or that it is okay they were cut off. Almost never for turning - unless they are taking a round corner, in which case there is no need to signal... but they do anyway.

I spend a lot of time biking in Nakhon Phanom which has left me with not only nice strong legs but a good understanding of Thai driving. I would usually be too afraid to bike on the road with cars flying by, but Thailand has given me a lot of courage; if I can bike around in Thailand, I can bike anywhere. The roads are horribly paved and have big chunks of tar strips across the street that cause me to jiggle and bump as I bike overtop. Dogs chase you down the street, cars pull out in front of you even if you have the "right of way" (not that there is any such thing in Thailand) and you continually find new alleyways to sneak down to save yourself from the song taews of screaming school children.

Driving is a mission in Thailand, but thankfully I am not weak at heart.

"Lets waste time, chasing cars"

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Beavertale 3

Growth means change and
change involves risk, stepping
from the known to the unknown.


You can’t possibly be ready; no matter how much you prepare, or however well you have come to terms with the situation, you will never be ready. Almost a year ago I was preparing for what was to be the biggest challenge and most rewarding year of my life. It has definitely surpassed rewarding in all aspects, but the biggest challenge has turned out to be not coming to a foreign country, but the return home. Preparing to go back to Canada and saying good bye to the place you have come to love is extremely difficult to do without going insane in the process. The real adventure, the aspect of exchange that we failed to prepare for, is our journey back in time to the place where time has stood still and no one is ready for our personal change. To a place where no one will understand how we have changed except ourselves; the hustle and bustle of thousands of people rushing off to work and fighting through traffic is something I personally am not prepared for.

Everything I was told about Rotary Youth Exchange turned out to be spot on. After speaking with previous exchange students they came to a consensus that the following aspects of Rotary Youth Exchange reign true in any country.

1. You will accumulate heaps and piles of various new items until you find yourself leaving things behind, giving out old clothes and sending massive crates home in the mail.
2. You will be able to speak the language fluently by the end of your exchange, understand every word that is spoken and be able to fully communicate what you feel and think.
3. Leaving and thinking of leaving will cause you unbelievable pain and discomfort, and lastly,
4. You will grow in ways unimaginable.

I am growing, and have grown since the day I stepped foot on Thai soil; my growth and transformation screams loudly from the clothes I wear, the way that I hold myself and the words that come out of my mouth. I can feel it intensifying in the thoughts that scramble through my head, interrupting each other and overlapping while trying to be more than a flicker of imagination. I feel growth in the tips of my fingers, through my eyes and in the way that I view life - it's an interesting feeling, this change, and not one that I would give up easily. I can’t say myself how I have changed, but I feel it in my heart, deep down inside and I love the new me. This country is more than my host country, more than my home and more than the country I have fallen head over heels in love with - Thailand is my security blanket. Thailand is the solution to all my problems, the answer to all my questions and the rock holding me down and forcing stability in my ever changing life. Rotary prepared us for everything from walking in the airport, to problems with our host parents and dealing with other exchange students. The only thing they left out was how to deal with leaving and now I understand why. It is the biggest challenge I’ve had to face and it’s something I must do completely on my own, no anesthesia.

I have barely had time to sit and relax since my last Beavertale, let alone organize myself for my return to Canada in two months. Time has just been nonstop going, going, going – and soon, it will be gone. My time here is running out and it has become an increasing fear as each of my friends leaves this beloved country for their homeland. The too-soon departure of my fellow exchange student in Nakhon Phanom has us both strained and trying to spend as much time together as possible before she leaves. We spend hours sitting in complete stillness, lying on her bed not talking, not moving, just breathing together and appreciating the time we have left. I’ve never been the type to sit still, to keep patient and just take the time to breathe; in Thailand, that’s all I do. Silence is completely taken for granted; before Thailand the creak of a banana tree or the whisper of beetle’s wings had never been truly treasured. There are sounds here I never would have listened for, sounds that always appeared so miniscule and trivial in the constant movement of a western lifestyle. In Thailand, walks along the cracked sidewalks no longer need an iPod to accompany them – instead I listen to all the movement around me. Children riding their bikes through the street, content without a television or computer to occupy them; a gathering of friends sitting in the driveway of their home sharing a meal under the star filled sky; humming motorbikes cutting in front of an SUV who reciprocates with a polite beep of their horn in acknowledgement; howling dogs; a rooster’s crow; the buzz of swarming mosquitoes and a sudden zap as they are struck with an electric swatter. It is the serene sound of bliss.

As much as it pains me to say, this is my last and final Beavertale. I’ve thought about writing this letter since my first day in Thailand and the thought of it has squeezed me continually tighter. It’s shocking to think of going back to Canada, to a home I have not known for so long, but I will not bid my dear Thailand farewell. A piece of my heart will always be in Thailand and it will stay here for years to come, until one day, I am able to come back to my family and friends, my city and my culture. I will be thinking of Thailand everyday and every moment until I can come home.

Rotary Youth Exchange has surprised and delighted me in so many ways and I could never express how utmost my gratitude is to all the people who have helped me get here. I didn’t bargain for the adventures and challenges I have encountered, but I don’t regret them; they have made my exchange an astounding year and most of all have shaped me into the independent, loving person I am. So thank you again, to both my Rotary districts, to my three loving host families, my exceptionally wonderful family in Canada who has supported me through everything, all of my friends and fellow exchange students and all the people I’ve met and come to love. But most of all, thank you Thailand, for giving relentlessly, opening my eyes and showing me what true happiness is.

ความจริงเป็นของชีวิต คือ การตื่นในความฝันของตัวเอง
Peace and love,
Emma a.k.a กุหลาบ