Keep Breathing.

It was Christmas Eve. Snow was falling in thick clumps forming a soft bed on our front lawn. Through the window I could see my family opening presents, drinking apple cider and eating shortbread while they laughed together. I came up the driveway slowly with my bags pulled behind me; I could not remember why I had come home early, but I knew they were unaware I was just outside the door. As I rapped on the door my mom's head snapped up from her coffee and spun towards where I was standing. There was a rushing and as the door creaked open, it was apparent on her face that she was just as surprised about my return to Canada as I was. "What are you doing here?!" I was unable to give her the answer.

Though I was happy to see my family, the pain I felt from leaving Thailand was a tight fist wrapped around my chest; I could barely breathe.

The next day once I was allowed out of the house I began my search for anything that reminded me of home. The first stop was 7 Eleven. Though 7 Eleven in Canada doesn't quite have the same smoothies, mouthwatering ham&cheese sandwiches or every flavour of Pocky you could think of, they had juice. It was at the juice machine that I saw Jared. For some reason, at the sight of him I broke into a fit of sobbing and collapsed on him. He attempted to hold me up but I just could not pull myself together; in the end we sat on the floor while I heaved and shook as tears poured down my face. My heart was broken.

I wake up screaming.

"The trick is not to rid your stomach of butterflies, but to make them fly in formation" -